Accomplishment: Week 8

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Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. 

~Mahatma Gandhi

Unlike last week, I remember the week of August 9 clearly. Recruitment was over, and I no longer had nightly meetings. Unfortunately, I had a lot of work to catch up on from the weekend, and I had to figure out how to study for the exams coming up. Normally, the first week of school allows you to set the mood for the rest of the semester, but school started on a Wednesday, and recruitment season began immediately after that. I had no time to set my rhythm. I spent the entire week recording how long it took me to complete my homework, and tried to go to bed before 11 pm. Hopefully, you've had better luck with your time management. I was euphoric about having my free time back, but then I got sick. What positives can I come up with when I was feeling so miserable? At least 20, because I learned a lot about how I handle stress and push past my self-doubt and anxiety to reach my goals. For now, here are three challenges I faced during the worst week of my semester, and how I beat them.

1. I lost my voice

Just my luck. All my teachers want to have in-class discussions the day I lose my voice. All of a sudden I'm popular and everyone wants to catch up. I couldn't breath during the night, and woke up gasping for air every half-hour. I didn't fall asleep until 6 am and I used up all my cold medicine. These days were awful, but I was met with kindness and generosity. The library staff gave me cough drops which helped the pain significantly - I could even breath through my nose. I binge drank the blood orange tea my mom bought for me months ago, and had an endless supply of tissues around campus. Everyone was nice and understood that I wasn't in the best of health. Still, I didn't want to feel sorry for myself all day, so I pushed myself to participate in class and spoke in my mumble-grumbled voice. By Friday, I could sleep at night for a few hours, and over the weekend my congestion disappeared. I was physically ill, and people wanted to help me feel better. I didn't let the illness stop me from staying on top of my work, and now I'm reaping the benefits of my sacrifice. 

2. There was no time to get everything done. 

Family Weekend was a blessing when it came, but an anxiety-inducing curse in the days before. I didn't know what to do. I simply did not have enough time in my schedule to finish the work I was given. I didn't want to let myself down, even though my body was telling me to go to bed. I realized that my standards were too high given the situation. I decided to focus on what was due the soonest, and figure out which work to sacrifice before the weekend. Fortunately, I was over-reacting and I was able to finish two assignments after my mom arrived. My Sunday was packed, but I knew that I did my best, and went to bed happy with my decisions. 

3. I was very, very sad

I may seem pessimistic based on the previous three weeks, but I really am an optimist. There are times when situations are more than we can handle, and this was one of them. I wasn't the only one, I think almost everyone was super stressed from sorority and fraternity recruitments, sports, clubs, and other activities. I'm used to cheering other people up, and wasn't sure what to do with myself. I've mentioned before that I may or may not have severe anxiety, but I also may or may not have mild depression - the more you know. These past few weeks only made my mental health worse, and my health was not a priority (I guess that's why I got sick.) I was so happy to see my family again, and introduce my mom to some of my sorority sisters and my boss (Crystal, come to the LC and you'll meet her). It was a huge relief to finally leave campus. The dorms are stifling and I needed to leave.  You'l want a break too when you live here two summers in a row.

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These times are hard, but hard times are all the time depending on your perspective, and I'm glad there are so many people here to help us see the bright side of things.

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101 Positive Quotes

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Family Weekend Mayhem

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The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, 

but of respect and joy in each other’s life.

~Richard Bach

I don't see myself as a homebody, and I tend to make myself comfortable fairly quickly no matter where I am. But, there's something special about being with a group of people who love you unconditionally. Over the weekend, my mother, aunt, and grandma came all the way to Iowa to see me.

This term's been abnormally stressful, and I became sick over the week which made catching up on assignments difficult. Formal recruitment ended, but I still had so much work to do for my officer position. I decided to prioritize my responsibilities to my sorority sisters, over my own well-being. Though I never recommend someone doing this, I felt that I needed to do my best - despite my own ailments - because people depend on me. Naturally, I only became more stressed as my workload increased, and to top it all off my family was coming.

You’d be surprised (maybe not) by how quickly I got over my stress once we left. After spending time with my family, I gained three valuable experiences to help me get through the next week, and hopefully, the rest of the school year.

1. I streamlined my work

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I decided to finish my paper within one hour. If it takes the average woman 30 min to write a paper, it may take me an hour. I spend half of that time debating with myself about whether or not I should start over from scratch. Then, my mom arrived. My family took off work to come and see me. The least I could do was to keep work separate from my personal life. When we got back to my dorm I ranted for… 45 minutes? My mom is more reasonable when it comes to time management, and she told me to just do it. I challenged myself to finish that paper, so we could leave. When I did, I quickly finished another assignment. The solution was so simple, yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it without my mom telling me to. We all need that parental push once in a while. I won’t be spending more time than I need to on assignments anymore. 

2. I stood up to annoying men

We ordered Need Pizza for dinner, but there was no parking, so I hopped into the rain, and went to get our dinner. This really tall man - thin, ugly, and drunk - was harassing people out front. One man walked away and a couple walked inside. This man was blocking the door, so I had to walk past him. This fool had the audacity to say (drunk voice) Girl, you smilin’? You need to smile. How can I put into words how angry I was? He called me a girl AND told me to smile! I gave him the middle finger and pushed past him. I warned the inside staff about him, and pointed him out. When I left the shop, he stumbled to the other side of the sidewalk. He was lucky my mom wasn’t there. 

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He wasn’t the last sicko. After shopping the next day, a man followed behind us in his SUV. Now, this fool, had the nerve to try to intimidate us. He may have road rage, but I have woman rage. He should’ve been prepared for my attitude. We all know those drivers that think they have the right-of-way solely because they’re in a car; he’s one of them. My Grandma walked behind me to shield me from his car, and I looked him in the eyes. He glared at me. I glared at him. He pulled up slowly behind us and followed us into the parking lot of the hotel. 

I stood behind Grandma and put my arms up behind her. He drove to our side and rolled his window down. He was angry, so I talked VERY loudly about how his license plate was easy to remember and how you shouldn’t be a terrible driver if your license plate is so simple. When we got inside, I saw him get out of his car. No one seemed worried, but I was on edge. Later than night I tried to look for his car, to take photos for the police (just in case) but Grandma said she watched him leave hours before that. He was lucky too. 

3. I learned about my preferred aesthetics

We went to Ashley Furniture because my mom needs a couch. I had no clue how expensive furniture can be. The store was divided into themes based on whatever the designer thought looked well together. I love HGTV shows and had the basic idea that I wanted my dream home to be nice. This isn’t good enough. Do I want a whimsical or modern aesthetic? Do I want to feel energized in one room and relaxed in the other? There were many options, and I know that I have plenty of time to experiment with styles before I purchase my first home. Still, it’s never too early to know what you like. 

For starters, giant clocks are the way to go. I don’t know about you, but I want a giant clock in my living room. It’s purposeful and it’s art (apparently). What more can you ask for? I want paintings of trees and fish, and lights that sparkle. Basically, a magical forest with furniture that contains outlets for my electronics. My research this autumn is all about nature immersion and its effects on individuals, so maybe it’s destiny for my house to mimic a nature reserve. 

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At the end of all the amazing memories I've made with the woman in my family, I came back to campus with a clear head and a happy heart. My dorm is my private sanctuary, my sisters and friends are my family, and Coe is my home away from home. I'm not the type of person to become homesick, still, it's nice to know that there are people I can come back to.


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Planet of Success Quotes

The Sophomore Slump: Your Community

by Arabella Chamberlain

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When fighting off the sophomore slump, you might not realize how important your community is. The people around you, your support and your encouragement can have a big impact on how well you take on the sophomore slump. Getting involved in new things and staying in touch with old friends can truly be a make or break of your year. I've compiled a list below of some of the ways you can get involved on campus and find your place in the COE-mmunity. Clever, right?

Your COE-mmunity:

• Student Senate:  Want to have your voice heard on campus? Come to Senate meetings, Wednesdays 7pm @ Cherry Auditorium, even if you're not a senator. Or be bold and run for a senate seat! This is a great opportunity to meet people from all over campus with a plethora of majors represented. Make the changes you want to see on campus!

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• Greek Life:  Might seem like it's not your thing, but don't knock it til you try it! Here on Coe's campus we have some of the best Greek life. With chapters from 4 sororities and 5 fraternities, there's definitely some place you can call home. 
• Clubs:  Join a club! Coe has an insane number of clubs on campus and they're constantly emailing to remind you about all their events. Just try stopping by a meeting or two. Go to an event you wouldn't normally go to and maybe you'll find something you really like! Take the first step to getting involved and it's easier once you get started.
• Volunteering:  This is such a great way to reach out into the community. Whether on-campus or off, volunteer is not only good for those around you, but good for you! Reach out to local charities and volunteer-based organizations and see how you can help out.



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• Cedar Rapids:  Take advantage of the amazing city we live in and explore Cedar Rapids. There are countless restaurants and shops and things to do in downtown Cedar Rapids. Visit a museum, stop by NewBo city market, shop at Raygun - don't miss out on the hustle and bustle of the city!
• Theatre/Music/Arts:  Speaking of downtown, take a peek at the nightlife. Music and theatre opportunities are abundant in this area. Head to a local show and support some artists. Be on the lookout for upcoming concerts and grab a friend to go! On-campus, there are plenty of things to do too! SAC is constantly bringing in artists to perform and TheatreCoe does amazing works - and in fact, has a show coming up! Get tickets at the box office in Upper Gage.
• Sports:  If you don't already play a sport, Coe has lots of fun intramurals you can join. Get active and get connected at the same time. Get in the team spirit and have fun! Or if you'd rather not be on the field, maybe even just go support friends in sports. Go Kohawks!
• Res Life/Learning Commons:  Don't ignore the resources just waiting there for you to use them. Check out some of the exciting residence life events that the residence life staff work so hard to plan. Or maybe stop by the Learning Commons just to chat with someone and get to know people who can help you succeed when times get rough. 
• Internship/Job/Research:  Maybe you want to get a head start for after graduation. If that's the case, look into a local internship or job. Or maybe find out if any of your professors are doing research you can get involved in. These are good ways to make connections for down the road and helps to get a taste of the professional life.

No matter what way you get involved in the community, just make sure you get involved! The benefits are amazing and a great way to get over that sophomore slump. Find your COE-mmunity!

More Information:
Student Experiences in the Second Year

Do you feel you have a voice on campus?

Absolutely! I can easily express my opinions to my colleagues.

Kinda... Sometimes I think my voice isn't heard.

Not really. I can't easily express my opinions to my colleagues on campus.

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Why I Have Chosen a PWI instead of HBCU as a Minority Student

There is a controversial topic about whether a Historically Black College/ University (HBCU)
or Predominantly White Institution (PWI) is better for African American students to attend. Some
people of color look down on others for not attending an HBCU; however both types of education
have their downfalls as well as their benefits. I’m here at Coe, so I have obviously chosen the
PWI route; and from my experiences so far I could definitely explain the benefits:

1. Money

Coe college has various benefits, but the most important one to me was money. It is so
expensive to be educated, and though colleges cause so much debt, the career I have a burning
passion for requires a LOT of education. PWIs have higher endowments than HBCUs, meaning
they receive more money/ financial assets. More endowments means that they have the ability
to give out more scholarships. If a college really cares about preparing you for the real world,
they will want to surround you with diversity because the real world is diverse, so they are
willing to give out even more money to people of color because they want us to attend to
increase diversity and add to the environment so that we can see the world from different
perspectives and understand other cultures.

2. Diversity/ Preparation for the Real World

They are called Predominately White Institutions, but people from almost every race attend
these colleges and universities. HBCUs have mostly African American students, so to go to
one would be staying in my comfort zone, seeing that I went to a predominantly African
American high school, and lived in a predominantly African American neighborhood.
Being in a different community than usual has given me an opportunity to have a more open
mind towards opinions and beliefs that I have never had before. Also, regardless of whether I
go to an HBCU or PWI, I will graduate going out into a predominantly Caucasian world with
many different minorities as well; so being at Coe, I have been learning more about different
cultures and opinions than I could in an environment like my neighborhood. This is giving me
the experience with a multitude of people that I will need.

3. First Hand Experience

If you are raised in poverty, then you’ve mostly only been surrounded by people who look like
you. Impoverished neighborhoods are usually segregated and not racially diverse; and as it is
apart of the curriculum, in your classes you learn about all of the problems that happened in
the US, and you learn that most of these terrible things occurred when Europeans came here.
History shapes the Europeans as selfish, lazy, greedy, always using people of color for hard
labor and treating them poorly along the way, and a number of other things. If you are in an
impoverished community, with mostly only people who look like you, chances are you’ve
never actually talked to a Caucasian person in real life, so you look at them as if they are the
exact same terrible people who did everything that you have learned in your history book. If
you have never actually talked to someone in another race, as humans we tend to use
stereotypes; and it is normalized, so most people of color have these negative preconceptions
of Caucasians upon meeting them ourselves. It is fair to say that coming here, this is the first
time that I have been surrounded by so much diversity, and I have only had positive
experiences thus far; so it gives us all a chance to break out of using the stereotypes that
we’ve gotten so comfortable with.

I don’t disagree with Historically Black Colleges/Universities or Predominantly White
Institutions. These are the reasons that I personally made my choice. Here at Coe, I am
thriving so far; and I have no complaints! I couldn’t have made a better decision.

Accomplishments: Week 7

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Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.

~Malcolm S. Forbes

This week was honestly a blur. I don’t remember what I ate, how much I slept, or what I did. I know that I completed my assignments (to the best of my ability), and that I probably watched Netflix. Constant stress and massive workloads tend to have this effect on people. Despite this gap in my timeline, I know that I’ve done, at least, three things to be proud of.

1. Labor Day

I spent most of labor day working on homework. The free time meant more time to get stuff done before my nightly meetings. When you have gaps in your schedule what do you fill them with? I’m pretty sure I watched YouTube in the morning. I wanted to relax because the semester was off to a rough start, but I knew I had commitments to keep. I tried to go to work, but the library was closed during my shifts. It was an extra day to complete assignments. 

2. Formal Recruitment

Recruitment was a blast, and I managed to take some good photos, despite the fact that my phone wasn’t working. I talked to many wonderful women and it was great practice for job interviews. I took time to relax and recharge with some tasty pizza, and took advantage of the opportunity to not think about homework. I was surprisingly calm for all three days, and even took a risk during bid day. I put glitter on my arms.. It wasn’t as hard to get off as I expected, so it worked out. 

3. Tutoring Orientation

I chose the 8 am slot and I do not regret my decision. French and Psychology are classes that people need help with, and now I can provide some assistance. Even if I don’t get a lot of requests, I accomplished a dream of mine from freshman year, and that’s enough for me. 

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These may seem like shallow accomplishments, but not everything we do blows our socks off. Take time to reflect on your past, and see if you want to do anything differently. I still can’t remember the week of August 2 very well, but that’s okay. My past self deserves to know that she did good, regardless. 

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14 Love Yourself Quotes

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Accomplishments: Week 6

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It's highly important to be proud of your true self 

before you expect others to be proud of you.

~Edmond Mbiaka

September 1 marked the end of the first week of classes, and I was WAY too busy. I'm not sure why I expected the transition from summer break to sorority recruitment to be smooth, but I am an optimistic woman. This past week almost broke me, but I made it through and now I can tell you why. 

1. I was approved to be a tutor

I've always had good grades, but I have a habit of filling all my free time. This year is different. I told myself to apply to be a tutor and I made time in my schedule so I could do it. I'm not taking French classes this semester, but I can keep up with my lessons by tutoring. If you or someone you know is taking French classes, I am an official tutor now and I want to help you learn the vocab and pronunciations judgement free. 

2. I stayed on top of my homework (mostly)

Meetings every single night can make even the most optimistic irritated and tired, especially since my research had just begun. I was dying. I wanted to die. You get it. I had to play catch up the whole week, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t get ahead. You see, I like to get ahead on my work so that my weekends can remain as open as possible. Professors like to assign a lot of work at once, tests are on the same days, and suddenly all events happen the week you have the least time to get stuff done. From day one my schedule was packed, and I barely had time to go to sleep. Naturally, this made me feel worse, which made it harder to do homework, and yes...I had to do it all over again the following week.

Sacrifices must be made when times are hard, so I decided to stop reading my astronomy textbook. What missed assignments would have the least repercussions? Assignments that you never have to turn in. I managed to finish my other assignments, and had to spend hours on Sunday doing the homework due that night, instead of hanging out with my friends. That's right, you can't avoid all the fallout. 

3. I turned to my friends

I have never been so down on myself. I made my schedule months ago to ensure that I'd have time to get my homework done. I left my job, so I could make the time commitments of my upper-level courses. I spent all summer perfecting my sleep schedule, cycling around town, and playing video games in my free time. Coe completely obliterated my hopes. I'm a strong, independent woman so it's been difficult to ask for help and depend on others. Talking with my friends and professors and staff (anyone who would listen, really) helped me de-stress. All the anxiety was building up too fast, and I couldn't handle it on my own. Count on the people around you. There are always times when you need help.

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We don't always accomplish all of our goals, or meet the standards we set for ourselves; regardless, we must take the time to pat ourselves on the back. If everyone else knows you're amazing, you should too.

Author's Note: TBH, writing this post was a challenge. August 26 to September 1 was probably one of the worst weeks I've had in college. I had too much on my plate, and I couldn't turn away any of it. If you are struggling with your workload or balancing your time, come to the Learning Commons. There are so many people who want to help you succeed academically and can provide a ton of great advice to help you feel more secure with the path that you're on.

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Be Proud of Yourself GoodReads Quote

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Hair Talk: Maintaining Type 3C hair in College

Curls. They’re so beautiful, diverse, wild, and free. They exist in every race, and there are so many different types.

Regardless of how cute they may look, however, those of you who have curly hair know the hassle of having to manage it. They take hours to nourish and keep healthy, sometimes they’re so stubborn that it is impossible to reduce shrinkage, or keep them satisfied. In fact, I won’t argue with anyone who believes that maintaining curls is almost as difficult as taking care of a baby.

I am fully aware that taking care of hair here doesn’t make it any easier because the water is “hard water”. That means that water that has high mineral content (it is full of calcium and magnesium carbonates, bicarbonates, and sulfates). Being here, I’ve noticed that the hard water dries my skin and scalp out because the calcium makes its own coat on the scalp and skin. The pressure is also extremely low because unfortunately, the minerals also cause clogged pipes. In other words, it takes way too long to wash my hair, and when I get out it’s usually tangled and dry. 

Here’s how I manage my curls here:

1. Vinegar Rinse

Do you remember how I said that calcium builds its own coat on the scalp? Well, because vinegar is acidic, it works to remove the mineral coat so that your hair can retain moisture. I personally use white vinegar because it’s all I have, but most people say that apple cider vinegar works better. To create a vinegar rinse, I mix 1 tablespoon of vinegar with 3 cups of water.I put it on my scalp after shampooing and allow it to sit for a few minutes before rinsing it. I do this once every two weeks.

2. Curl Specific Products

Yes. There are some products that make our hair smell better for longer than others, but I take my hair health very seriously. It is important to use products with no parabens, sulfates, or silicones because they can dry out our hair, damage our curls, and destroy our curl pattern. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Garnier Fructis “Curl Nourish” shampoo, conditioner, and leave in cream as well as pretty much all of “Mielle Organics” hair products. I also use coconut oil on my scalp and curls to nourish and reduce shrinkage (but not too much because if it’s too heavy on the hair that can destroy the curl pattern as well).

3. No Heat

If we use heat that is too high, or apply direct heat for too long or too often, the curl pattern can be lost, or it can break off and fall out. It isn’t terrible to put heat on hair, and it won’t automatically get heat damage just because it’s straightened once, but I personally only straighten it on super special occasions. When I do straighten my hair, I use ceramic irons, and a heat protectant. Currently, my favorite heat protectant is the “Lionesse Vitamin E Hair Serum with Aloe Vera”. The more natural the products, the better they usually are to use.

I hope that these tips work for you the same way that they work for me. Curly hair is definitely hard to manage, but it’s worth all of the time and effort. If they do work for you, or if you have  a more simple/ better working routine please let me know! I’m sure all of us are always looking for ways to better our hair; so let's help each other out!

Perfectionism: Dismantling Black and White Thinking

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Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough - that we should try again.

~Julia Cameron

The past three weeks have been very hectic. From day one I’ve been bombarded with assignments, meetings, projects, and a host of personal obligations I must meet. I did my best to arrange my schedule in a way that allowed me time to complete my work, and for the most part I've been able to. I am very thankful to my past self for thinking so far ahead. I want to go back to sleep. I want to snuggle and watch cartoons for the rest of the day, and just relax. But, I can get through this, by gradually changing how I see this situation. 

I have a tendency to think in extremes. I'll either ace this test or fail, and I'll be successful or I won't, are all common thoughts that pop up throughout the day. The problem with this way of thinking is that the world is not black and white. It takes practice to break habits, but using Anxiety Canada's self-help guide How to Overcome Perfection I've made amazing progress these past 10 months. 

I have severe, high-functioning anxiety - according to a mood assessment- but, this is not a character trait of mine, nor does it define me. It does, however, help explain the behavior that I want to change. I am very critical of myself, and hold high standards that I expect to meet. If I don’t get an A in the class, I feel as if I’ve failed at something important, when I haven’t. I do not easily see a standard as unreasonable or unattainable. This makes it difficult for me to accept when I make mistakes, because I have a bar that I must meet. This is where compromising comes in. 

No one enjoys compromising with others. We all want things to work out in our favor, but it’s a fact of life that we have to. As a perfectionist, I need to be able to allow myself to make mistakes. Anxiety Canada recommends gradually adjusting what I tolerate, so that I don’t make myself more anxious. Let’s work through an example:

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You spent over six hours in one night working on your ceramics project for your next class. You’ve been keeping up with the blog posting assignment, and had a lot of fun staying up late with your classmates making all your pieces. During the presentation, the teacher comments on how your piece isn’t functional and your classmates explained how they didn’t understand the theme you were going for. You really loved your piece, and your friends did too, but some critiques were harsher than others and your feelings were hurt. You felt that they were attacking you personally. At the end of class you decide to toss your work. If it wasn’t good enough when it counted, it wasn’t good enough at all. 

This situation could have been handled better and since hindsight is 20/20 it’s easy to see how, but, for now, here’s one more example. 

Finals week is over, your teacher and classmates loved your blog and your final pieces. You planned, designed, and attached a lot of emotions to your work, especially since others praised you for it. It’s time to decide what will be tossed. You see the pieces that passed your original criteria, but failed after the glazing didn’t turn out as well as you expected. Can you guess how this situation was handled? 

This was me when I was a Freshman. After finals week, I wanted to toss all my flawed pieces, but my best friend encouraged me not to. It wasn’t a fun conversation, as I had immediately made up my mind that they were trash, but he insisted that there was nothing wrong with them. He even said they’d make great flower pots. For every reason he gave, I explained why he was wrong, and why I was right. But, in the end, he convinced me. 

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Learning to compromise is a never-ending process, and when I began reflecting on my habits, I become more critical of myself. Today was a good day, because I cried to my friends and opened up to others. I talked about all my stress and worries and feeling that I will never get my work done. Turns out a lot of people feel the same way, and I’m not alone in my battle against these negative thoughts and emotions. We’re in our fourth week of school and I already feel like I’m falling apart, but I know that the severity of these issues is all in my head. I believe in myself and I have people who believe in me too. 

I know that I’ve already made a lot of progress this semester, but I have more work to do. This week, in my effort to create attainable goals for myself, I will open up to my family about my obligations and the stress I’ve been feeling. Family Weekend begins Friday, and I try not to make my family worry about me. But, I am an adult, and I have no reason to hide my struggles from the people who care about me.

There are too many assignments to complete before Monday, but I want to spend as much time with my family as I can, so I will make sacrifices. This is my first step in compromising. You can’t do everything, you can’t have everything, you have to prioritize and make plans to reach those higher-ranking goals. Recruitment just ended, but there is still so much I must do in my officer position. However, my position cannot maintain a top position in the long-term, as my research is my higher priority. Still, I value my mental and physical health, and cannot allow myself to burn out. At this time, all three are vying for the top spot in my hierarchy, which is why I feel overwhelmed. I cannot put this off any longer and have decided that my ranking for this week is:

1. Spending time with my family
2. Completing my assignments
3. Completing officer obligations

Although my sleep and cleanliness of my dorm will take a hit, I must stay on top of my work. This weekend, I will be with my family, and they will be more than enough as a reward for my hard work.

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Sources
Anxiety Canada Bx: Perfectionism Guide 
Julia Cameron Quotes: AZ Quotes

If you're new to the LC Blog, check out my previous posts about perfectionism down below:
Perfectionism
Perfectionism: Acceptance and Action
Perfectionism: Changing My Perspective
Perfectionism: Seeing the Big Picture

The Sophomore Slump: Your Voice

By Arabella Chamberlain

Have you ever heard of the term "Sophomore Slump"? Some people associate this with sports, others have never even heard of it. But what about in academics? Students on college campuses across the country struggle with their sophomore year of college - why is that? And what can we do to change that? In the following 8-part series, we're going to take a peek behind the "sophomore slump" and how to escape it.

Your Voice:

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Have you ever felt like Ariel, washed ashore with no voice and unable to express your own thoughts and ideas? I'm about to get real philosophical with The Little Mermaid. One of the hardest things students can struggle with during their sophomore year is finding their own identity, figuring out who they are, becoming their "true self." Sounds cheesy, right?

It's true though. Everyone struggles to find themselves at some point, but in particular, angsty college sophomores faced with the crippling pressure of picking a major which could set you on the path to your future career... no biggie though, right? It's completely normal to be a little stressed when faced with this decision.

What can you do though to figure all this out then? Honestly, there's no magic formula or quick-n-easy worksheet to tell you who you are and what you want - if there was things would be pretty boring. But here are a few suggestions to help you find your voice without visiting an evil sea witch who wants to steal your prince.

• Try new things: Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort (sea)shell. Even if you feel like you've missed the boat to try out a new club or take a class in a different topic than you normally take, forget about that! Cast a wide net and just go to one meeting of that club you always thought looked cool, take a intro class to something you know nothing about to fill some Gen. Ed. requirements, and remember it's okay if you don't like it, but you'll never know 'til you try.
• Speak up and reach out: You'll never find your voice if you never use it. If you just live your life as a passive observer, will you ever truly live? Speak up about the things your passionate about. Does something get you fired up to share with others? SHARE WITH OTHERS. Advocate and educate about things that matter to you. Inspire others about the things inspire you. It seems so simple, yet so many of us constantly find ourselves sitting on the sidelines when we could be jumping in and taking the plunge.
• Write up a list of your interests: (Even the ones that seem to have nothing to do with your current major!) Grab a piece of paper and a pencil and start scribbling down things you find interesting until you're swimming in ideas. It can be anything from Biology and Accounting to Star Wars and baking. Try to see if things have any crossover. Can you combine your love of baking and Chemistry? Or what about your passion for writing and Star Wars? (Fan-fiction, here we come...) Figure out what your passionate about. And then...
• Reach out to your advisors and professors: Find out what you can to pursue the things your passionate about. What can you do to include your interests in your education? Don't just pick a major that you think will be easy; pick a major that you know you'll still love years from now. There's an ocean of opportunities awaiting you. You can always learn new things if you change your mind further on down the line, but in this moment, where do you see yourself happy in a few years? Think about that when deciding your major. (And don't feel tied down - There's plenty of other fish in the ocean!)
• Don't be afraid to go against the flow: Last, but most certainly not least, be true to yourself. Life is far too short to spend your time trying to live up to someone else's standards or focus on being someone else, instead of just being unabashedly YOU. Live your life, not someone else's life. Do the things that make you happy, inspire you, drive you. Follow your dreams - who cares if you don't have a road map? Make your own.

I know this may not help some of you, but to be perfectly honest, I don't have it all figured out either. Hopefully though, this offers some ideas to get you started, but I can't figure it all out for you. Only you can decide who you are, never forget that. If you didn't notice, I'm the kind of person who brings up The Little Mermaid once and then spends an entire article sneaking in water puns. Perhaps not all of you appreciated that, but so what? Cry me a river. Always be true to yourself.

More Information:
Student Experiences in the Second Year: Advancing Strategies for Success Beyond the First Year of College

Have you got it all figured out and you know exactly who you are?

Absolutely! I've got it all together. (Give me a call. I need tips.)

Kinda... Sometimes I don't know who I am.

Not really. I can't decide what outfit to wear in the morning - I have no idea who I am.

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Accomplishments: Week 5

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All your life, other people will try to take your accomplishments away from you. 
Don't you take it away from yourself.
~ Michael Crichton, The Lost World

Are you excited to be back at school? How about starting your first year? Really, just me? That’s fine, I’m used to that reaction, but I do think there are many reasons to be happy that we’re here. I’m a Junior now, so I have some experience to back me up. This past summer I worked in the Advancement Office, right across the street from Voho, in McCabe Hall, as well as the downtown Jimmy John’s. I volunteered with Dogs Forever by the Kernels Stadium and played Sims 4 in my free time. I can say with 100% confidence that most of you would never choose to stay on campus over the summer, especially not for two years in a row. Sorry for being unique. All jokes aside, living away from home has been beneficial to me and I believe I’ve made the best decision for my life and career. It’s important to reflect on our past decisions, as well as the ones we’re currently making, and as college students - a.k.a. adults - it’s often necessary. 

Keep a journal, an internet diary, a collection of note cards, or a series of emails to remind yourself about what you’re proud of this past week. Don’t shake your head and claim that you’ve done nothing, because that’s not true. If you woke up this morning, took a well-deserved nap, or stayed up until 4 am completing an assignment you’ve done something to be proud of. From your past actions, think about your current decisions. Did you sign up for something you know you don’t want to do? Did you spend hours playing video games when you need help with your resume? Are you hesitating to apply for that internship you want? You’ve already done so much, so use it as fuel to power you to accomplish your goals. What have I accomplished, you ask?

1. I went out with my friend

We've only had three days of classes, but my professors already assigned a mountain of homework. I spent most of Thursday completing my Personality notes, and while I was sitting in my secret study spot, my friend invited me to go to Scooter’s. I don’t like coffee, but it was a nice day, and I wanted to catch up with her. We talked about our summer and plans for the school year, and later that night we went to the SAC carnival. We spent our entire time in a line, but it was worth it. The man spelled Macaroni with wire and made two different macaroni shapes as decoration. I originally wanted potato salad but there was a two-word minimum. I'm forever grateful to that man for taking my request seriously, since I was very serious.

2. I chose to be number 8

I am a member of Alpha Gamma Delta, and on Saturday we had our sisterhood photo shoot. We laughed and did silly poses, you know, the usual. At the end we decided to take some photos for our countdown to recruitment. Everyone shouted out random numbers, so I declared that I would be the number eight. Even though I was nervous, I did it anyway. I can be surprisingly shy, at times, but I followed through on what I wanted to do, and I’m very proud of myself. 

3. I celebrated Kohaku’s 3-month Anniversary

I kept my plant alive for three months now, which is longer than I expected. I’ve had plants since Freshman year, and when I moved into Murray they flourished. When I moved into Voorhees, they all died. I was very angry about the deaths of my plants, but over the summer I impulsively decided to buy another one. I named my light-green colored Peperomia Kohaku after an anime character whose name means leaf. He loved his new home. I tried hard to take him with me when I went to work so he could get sunlight, and when it turned out that the sun burns his leaves, I left him in the shade. There were times when his leaves had brown spots or a bug would try to hide in his soil, but together we persevered. 

As you can see, you don’t have to save the planet from an alien invasion to be amazing or have accomplished something amazing. Your perspective defines how you interpret your actions, so I encourage you to be a little more optimistic and be proud of yourself. If you’ve done something that you’re proud of this week, let me know in the comment section below.

Author's Note

I began these posts last winter after my 20th birthday, and tried to write as often as possible. Although I didn't keep up my original weekly goal, I know I did my best and will continue to push myself to share pieces of my life with you. Today is September 5, but these events occurred during the week of August 21 - August 25. 

Helpful Links

Psychology Today: Quotes on Pride 

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Accomplishments: Start of the Fall Term

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One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. 

~Lucille Ball

It’s almost been three weeks since junior year began. The differences between the summer of 2018 couldn’t be more obvious to me, yet their similarities are just as clear. Though, that’s a story for another time. This is the first of many weekly accomplishment postings for the fall term of 2019. 

Last year, I began my journey to overcome my perfectionism. It was recommended to me by Anxiety Canada’s self-help guide to take the time to think about all the things I’m proud of. I work hard to get all my assignments complete and get the best grades I can, while also handling my officer and sorority duties, and, of course, my job(s). I never thought about my actions for very long in a good light, because I needed to move onto the next. Once I sat down and looked at my calendar, I realized how much I’ve accomplished and felt proud of myself. 

There’s nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back for a hard day’s work. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break when you’re overwhelmed. These may seem like obvious facts of life or common sense, but I simply never thought this way. It’s September already, and I haven’t taken the best care of my mental health. We’re college students, so we have a million responsibilities, but since we do we should definitely take the time to be proud. Since I’m already two weeks behind, I’ll be posting as the stories come, and adding to the list down below. If you did something that made you happy or have pride in yourself this past week, let me know in a comment down below! 

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Helpful Links
Anxiety Canada
Words of Wisdom 4 You: 43 Positive Life Quotes

For more posts about accomplishments, click on the links below:

Fall 2019
August 21 - August 25
August 26 - September 1
September 2 - September 8

Spring 2019

January 14 - January 21
January 22 - January 31
February 1 - February 6
February 7 - February 15